16 February 1999

Another quick update. I am finally recovering. For nearly a week, I have been able to keep food down. I am able to get out of bed and to think a little. (I was startled to realize that there were chunks of time during all this that I couldn't recall at all.) I have never felt so weak and so thoroughly dependent on prayer.

I wanted you all to know that my doctor checked in and when I told him how sick I had been, he said, "Let's say no more chemo. Let's focus on building your immune system up." I was delighted. In addition, when I told him I didn't feel physically strong enough to come back as requested on March 1st, he didn't push me (as he has always done in the past). Therefore, instead of another round of treatment in early March, Bill and I have decided to take the kids (who have been getting short shrift lately) to see their grandmother in Florida the first week of March! We'll hang out together and play cards, swim if it's warm enough, eat with their grandma and just enjoy being a family.

I will fly down to Nashville to get another MRI in March. It's better to compare films from the same machine and I like the techs there; they are gentle. If the news is bad that will obviously make a difference, but if it's good, I am thinking maybe I'll go back in May.

This weekend Bill and I go to The Witness' contributing editors meeting in Boston which I am looking forward to. And I have responsibility for the May issue, which also helps me believe that I am getting my life back.

People ask often about the girls. Right now they are full of music and dance. They auditioned for a musical presentation of Jack in the Beanstalk. Lydia got the lead. Lucy is in the chorus, but she has been asked to fill in for the cow who has missed a lot of rehearsals. It looks as though she may get the part, which would make her very happy. In addition, Lucy has auditioned for her school spring performance and landed a solo. I love them so much it takes my breath away.

Bill is back to teaching in Chicago so we are in our rhythm of sometimes here and sometimes not. Now that I can get out of bed it will be easier. Last trip, my mom came up and stayed with us which helped enormously. Bill has been terrifically supportive. And I am really grateful to the friends who have spent a week with me during treatments in Nashville: Meg Graham, Irene Rodgers (my big sister), Deb Choly and Carol Larzelere-Kellermann.